By Corrine Taylor
My church is great at many things, but participating in Diocesan activities is not one of them. For a while now, I have wanted to be part of the Youth Community. I went to Camp Mikell annually but that magic must be supplemented from something else during the school year. All my friends from camp were active members in this community, so I wanted to join in as well.
When I didn’t participate, I made a lot of excuses;Oh I’m too busy, I can’t afford that, I just forgot. And while some of these were true, the biggest reason was that I was scared. I was scared that the friends I made at camp would not be my friends outside of camp. I was scared of intruding on this close-knit group of people who have grown up together. I was scared that I wasn’t going to be accepted. Now, you may be thinking “how could she have thought that, she goes to camp doesn’t she?” “we would never do that!” . I have been going to camp for eight years now, and still every year, the tiny anxiety monster in me is telling me that maybe my friends will not like me as much as they did they year before. It is unreasonable and untrue, but sometimes you can’t help but think these thoughts.
That is why when I signed up for Happening 65, I was so nervous. All of my friends had already happened, and I thought that I was going to be alone the whole time. As I was driving up to Camp Mikell, I was constantly thinking about just turning around and going home. What was Happening anyway? Just this mysterious gathering in freezing temperatures? I don’t really need to go. I don’t need it. Despite the banter with my conscience, I arrived right on time.
I’m not going to go into detail about my experience, for the sake of the people who have not happened yet, but I will say one thing: thank you. Thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for loving me and for showing me that you don’t have to be cynical all the time. There really can be that much love and clarity in the world. I was wrong. I did need Happening. For those of you who are still debating on whether or not you need Happening, I can already tell you the answer: you do. If you are even questioning the idea of Happening, you need to go through it. I am so glad that I took the leap of faith and tried something that I was terrified about. My heart is so full. Thank you.
God held his hand out to me and I grabbed it with no intention of letting go. Thank you for showing me that I can and should shine my light. \|,,|